Here me out on this:
- Join the war on the US side
- Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
- Defect to Canada before they catch you
- Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup
If you go to Canada right away, there’s no way you’re getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.
Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.
Moose aren’t like a sacred animal in Canada right?
You’ll have to fight the Mounties for them:
Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.
I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it’s not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.
Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)
Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or
86.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.
Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.
The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.
Except it didn’t work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?
The USA is bad for everyone now… Even Americans.
It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.
California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.
It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.
Create a Union. Let Europe help - we’re VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called “land of the free”.
It’s interesting to think about. If the blue states, which are not contiguous, seceded and joined together as a nation, they’d be scattered groups of states and easily defeated. But if they formed a union with Canada (the NAU?), then at least the territory of the NAU would be contiguous because most of the blue clumps are adjacent to Canada: the NE states, west coast states, Minnesota, probably Michigan, and then Illinois, which might be isolated depending on how Wisconsin would go. Colorado and New Mexico would still be isolated. Maybe they could defeat Arizona and be linked up with the west coast.
Then there’d be the issue of the US capital being D.C which along with its surroundings is overwhelmingly blue, so it would just have to be taken as part of the NE section, and Trumpistan would have to have its capital elsewhere.
It would be good to have an established federal government. Knowing america, though, we would fuck that up real quick.
We burned your White House down once, we’ll do it again!
Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.
But, we’ll do it again.
Yeah, the white house can burn down twice in a four year period.
British here:
Thank you for the serious-hat correction!
More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.
I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.
If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well…
I’ve always wondered, which movie was this frame from?
Hot Fuzz, the middle movie of the cornetto trilogy!
Pretty sure its Hot Fuzz
The usa thought the insurgency was bad in Afghanistan, wait until they see the combo of the largest undefended boarder, a people with a very similar look and culture (at least for language) and oh yeah a unpopular occupation of the country that has had more entries added into the Geneva conventions then any other nation.
Yeah, and about those nukes in shared sites on Canadian land, all isolated and infamously under defended…
🍁🫡
Thank you for your future service.
We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.
🍁🫡
Y’all’s about to see a Canadian’s real war face… On their homeland.
The white house will be burned to black.
DEI strikes again
Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.
Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.
Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, ‘be there, it’ll be wild’.
Cope for when you’re auto-balanced.
Oh definitely. Give me a side to fight on. I haven’t forgotten you Canada an all the wars we fought side by side together.
Whoa there your choices are snow, jungle, desert, or Arctic ice if you join the US side. Come on how many wars do you get to choose which server environment to play on? And if we do really good we can get the DLC level European Island Country! They say that one will feature the Navy more prominently.
I already did desert. I think I wanna try jungle this time?
Too late that was 1955-1975.
I was thinking snow is a nice change of pace. As a bonus there’s a lot of ice rinks!
And you’ll either get maple syrup, vodka, or smoked salmon. So much winning.
Mmm poutine, served in the helmet of my frenemies.
Weee! Yeah all this climate change going on, I haven’t seen more than half an inch of snow yet. 10 years ago it would be knee to thigh deep by now. I wanna see pretty snow again before I die.
You support moose knuckles?
spoiler
St Patrick Battalion
My name is John Riley
I’ll have your ear only a while
I left my dear home in Ireland
It was death, starvation or exile
And when I got to America
It was my duty to go
Enter the Army and slog across Texas
To join in the war against MexicoIt was there in the pueblos and hillsides
That I saw the mistake I had made
Part of a conquering army
With the morals of a bayonet blade
So in the midst of these poor, dying Catholics
Screaming children, the burning stench of it all
Myself and two hundred Irishmen
Decided to rise to the callFrom Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican side,
We formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican sideWe marched 'neath the green flag of Saint Patrick
Emblazoned with “Erin Go Bragh”
Bright with the harp and the shamrock
And “Libertad para Mexicana”
Just fifty years after Wolftone
Five thousand miles away
The Yanks called us a Legion of Strangers
And they can talk as they mayBut from Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican side,
We formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican sideWe fought them in Matamoros
While their volunteers were raping the nuns
In Monterey and Cerro Gordo
We fought on as Ireland’s sons
We were the red-headed fighters for freedom
Amidst these brown-skinned women and men
Side by side we fought against tyranny
And I daresay we’d do it againFrom Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican side,
We formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican sideWe fought them in five major battles
Churobusco was the last
Overwhelmed by the cannons from Boston
We fell after each mortar blast
Most of us died on that hillside
In the service of the Mexican state
So far from our occupied homeland
We were heroes and victims of fateFrom Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican side
